I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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