oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize