i think my tv is drunk
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
