Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
