Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize