So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
