I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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