went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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