before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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