He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
