third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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