Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ttyl tear gas
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
