Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
