I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
