with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
