The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
