and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
