I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
