I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
