I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
