Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You ruined the universe
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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