is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
