no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
