This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
