I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
