you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
