grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
