Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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