You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
