god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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