But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
