If i come over, it means nothing
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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