it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
