i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
