Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize