so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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