Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
