The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
