We're like a lot better than the average bears
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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