Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize