Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
