Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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