i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
