I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize