This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
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We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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