I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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