Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
