I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize