She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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