FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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