YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
