whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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