oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
