11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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